Wednesday, February 20, 2008

RE: HELP! Peace and Hippy Love party planning disaster

CHarlie says: Hey folks, I'm in a bit of jam! I'm planning a dinner party at the seniors residence where I live and time is running out fast! The theme for the dinner is "Peace and Love in the 1960s" and since almost all of us were grown-ups in the '60s anyway it might be fun to see what it may have been like to be young 40 years ago but today. I have suggested the theme (it hasn't been approved which is ANOTHER ehadache) but now I'm completely stuck for ideas. The only supplies I have are 5 packages of googly eyes and I can't remember if we used those back then. I'm not even sure the HIPPIES had specialty foods now that it's all set in stone: I don't know what to cook! Is there a way to make a soup out of wood stock?
Does Love, Pizza and Happiness make sense to you?

AlanB9 says: Hey, Charlie. I'll do some looking and thinking tonight and hopefully be able to help you out tomorrow. This idea is a great one and it should be super fun and actually easy once we all get thinking.
Right now all I can think of is tie-dye. Breads, cakes, etc. can be tie-dyed really easily. (That was 60's, right? Not 70's? Sorry, I wasn't born til Oct. 1969)

Be back tomorrow!!!!!

Blessmom says: I found this on There were other ideas under 50's and 60's parties, but thought this might be best. Also, flower power and tye dye was a common party decor and idea.
Good Luck!
We had a "Welcome to the 60s Party" for my husband's 60th birthday. Decorations and mood-setters included: a homemade collage poster of 60s people and events, a homemade, groovy welcome to the 60s sign in colorful bubble letters, burning incense, high school yearbooks, pictures and old newspapers from the 60s, most of the guests wore tie dye or went for a hippie look. One of the old newspapers was a Merced CA front page from the day after JFK was shot.
60s food included: (1) Velveeta and Ro-tel hot dip with chips and veggies, (2) chex mix, Also, Veveeta and chex mix--very 60s. My husband was completely unsuspecting and very surprised when he walked through the door. I told my hubby that we all loved him so very much that we just wanted to join him in the 60s for a day.

Charlie says: Thanks a bucnh guys, that should just about do it. Velveeta and chex it is, now it's all coming back to me, LAUGH OUT LOUD! I think it will be easy to just get some cheap make-up and paint peace signs on our feces to add to the mood. My favourite idea is to tell the guests (who are seniors) when they see all this grooby stuff "Well, you're in your 60s and 70s aren't you?" I will get Carol to make a C-D of everybody-going-surfing tunes as well.
I was able to find some stills of JFK being shot but I did decide that they may be too upsetting to have laying around during dinner, so I probably won't print them out. I don't think there's ink in the printer anyways.

Free Image Hosting at

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Valentines Day

Well I'm sorry friends but it's really hard. Today is the big V day.
Most of us are already alone today and have been for years. We better just face it. We're gonna die and we're gonna die soon. Gary Lemington did last night, right in his mash potatos!!!!! I miss my wife.
I remember she used to call me Mr Clean. I would flex my muscles. But not now someone stole her from the underground parking!!! We used to park and I'd have my car sparkling clean thanks to Pledge. Love ran through me like Drano through the pooper pipes. Air freshner in the air and windex blue skys. I remember applying Off to her skin on summer nights and nothing would bug us. Well I don't care what Atom says. I'm hitting the bottle today. Charlie, I won't be in chess tomorrow. If you want a shot come by my room. Here's a picture of Darling back when we met. If it even matters.
Here's to Gary!!! Best damn chess player there was!

I'm gonna miss ya Gary!!!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Small Type

I read today a letter-to-the-editor in a magazine from a senior complaining about the type being too small to see. To me this just goes to reinforce sterotypes of seniors as dithering blind bats who want everything their way! Well, it shouldn't be that way. And on behalf of 55+ I say the type is fine. If you're eye perscription is all wrong there's no need to take it out on the world's typesetters. Otherwise we'd have huge stop signs and no parkings blocking our view of the sunset at times when it really counts that we see it. And magazines will have to be as big as newspapers, and then who knows how big a newspaper would end up. (Like a set of blueprints? Twister mat?) Too big to carry, at any rate. And as for "too big" I will say this. The buttons on phones are "too small" these days and the'res too many. Whatever happened to 1-9 and * and #. Now I have to "send" my call or "enter" it. In closing, type is okay the way it is. Seniors are too "up-tight" about vision, but our fingers ARE TOO big for tiny buttons and there is NO PERSCIRPTION that can remedy this so make the buttons big or LEAVE THEM OFF!
I'm not really sure who this message should go to, so I"m just putting it here to spark the discussion (and push a few buttons) on the HOT TOPIC!

See ya later,
Charlie Fergus

Saturday, February 9, 2008

No Undershirts or service at Wall-Mart!!!! Letter to Wallmart

Looks like the big box stores that shut down small businesses (like my friend Clive's) don't care anymore. I recently contacted them and no-one got back to me. Here is my letter.

Dear Wallmart.

I used to be able to get my undershirts from my good friend Clive who's store closed it's doors years ago. Myself and my grandson Billy both need undershirts as it sure is getting cold outside. Billy told me to check your internet site. I typed undershirts in the search section and nothing comes up. I am very frustrated. All I want is some new undershirts for my grandson and I. Where on your site are the undershirts? I think there should be a seniors section on your website where seniors can get discounts on items. I am particularly interested in purchasing the complete sixth season of Dallas. Please mail me back and let me know where to find the undershirts on your site. My grandson will fill out the internet information you need to contact me.

Thank you for your time.

Mitchell Strickland.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Melvin said that if I want to clean up the pornographic section of the Internet I would have to create an electronic e-mail so that I could write to the pornographers taking these horrific photso.

Mel made me an "address" to receive this electronic mail. It's like the address thsat we have at the home only shorter and the "post man" comes all the time instead of only once in the morning.

Carol helped me track down the electronic emails of the different pornographers at the different websites and I have already posted a few letters in the mail. I will let you know about my progress as it happens. Tahnk you for supporting my cause.

Also, one more thing before I leave--when I opened the computer today it was on the sweetest websight. Carol told me that if I type in the "urinal" (what a strange name!!!) it should be able to work so you let me know if when you come on the computer you can see it. This rewnewed my faith in the Internet. I think I'm starting to understand what Mel is always going on about. I think someone must have been "windsurfing" (haha-Mel taught me that one!) on the section of the Internet that has puppies!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

UNPUBLISHED letter to the CBC

RE: A cotton swab in the ear can kill, Quebec coroner says

Dear CBC,
You raise valuable if shocking points in your article, "A cotton swab in the ear can kill, Quebec coroner says" . Death by Q-tip sounds like something straight out of Edgar Allan Poe but it is in fact a reality. I don't know if a warning sign on the box would help, because I honestly can't think of anything other than swabbing your ears that q-tips do well. Might as well stop making the things, as they can kill, I say. God had it right when he made our pinkys just big enough to not pierce our eardrums, and the folks at "Q-tip" could take a few "pointers" or "tips" from HIM.
And redesign their swabs promptly.
— Charlie Fergus

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The World vs. Nature

Dear Lilley Valley,
As a senior citizen living in residence with other
golden citizens in Toronto, I unfortunately am having
a tough time figuring out a means to enjoy your resort
that in my opinion, very much reflects my bohemian
sensibilities. My question is this: Are you able to
send a batch of your nudists to our home in Toronto
and explain the positive things about being natural?
(especially to our attendant, Carol, who barely let's
me walk around with 3 buttons undone!). I will talk to
the staff here to make sure we can book the conference
room, and make sure that the heat in that room is
adequate for persons nude.

Thanks in advance,
Charles Fergus

Dear Charlie,
Unfortunately we are not able to help you with your request. I would
suggest that you contact the FCN(Federation of Canadian Naturists) who may be
able to arrange to have some people to come out to your residence. Their
website is at .
I do understand your problem. My wife who has a disability, had a great
problem with homecare personnel who insisted that she wear clothes and be
"properly dressed" after they gave her the morning bath.

Monday, February 4, 2008

When Melvin asked me to write on the Internet I was a bit confused because I thought that there was only pornography on the Internet. I said Melvin, I'm 83 year old wife and mother! But he told me that there's more than just pornography on the Internet for a mature woman such as myself. He said that there was a whole world out there to explore without leaving the home.

So I typed MATURE WOMEN into the box because so that I would find information that was relevant to me as a mature woman. I found shocking things. As a wife and mother I am completley schocked. This is completely inappropriate:

Wghen I saw what happened I started screaming! And Melvin had to come and unplug the computer because there was just so much! Nurse Howe had to come and give me my pills.

Once I calmed down and took a nap I thanked Melvin for showing me the way because I think I have found my new path in life.
I am going to clean up this Internet if this is the last thing I DO. ONE INTERNET AT A TIME.

Response from Wal-mart

This is what Walmart "emailed" me back:

to me
show details
Feb 1 (3 days ago)
Please be advised that your email has been sent to the Customer Relations Department. You will receive a response in the shortest possible time. We thank you for visiting look forward to serving you on your next visit. Thank you.

I dont get why someone would take teh time to type out that letter, but not actually respond to my question. OH WELL, I GUESS THAT'S WHAT THE WORLD IS COMING TO!!!!

Sunday, February 3, 2008


RE: Let them eat ... hot dogs!

City council desperately wants to control our “street meats!” I think they just are making up for their lack of control over EVERYTHING ELSE in this (normally) great city!!! I for one am perfectly happy with the wonderful hot dogs you can get practically ANYWHERE in the city!! There are many varieties of wieners to be had downtown, from sausages to regular “dogs” to hot dogs made entirely of vegetables!! People should try “mixin’” up their “fixin’s” if they need to “spice” up their tasty meats!! (Though I DO NOT recommend mayonnaise as it ALWAYS looks like its gone bad sitting there, all the time!)
I think that tourists feel comfortable coming here and seeing hot dogs as the “food of choice.” It’s easy to eat and reminds them of home if they’re from our neighbours to the south! And if they’re not, then they’re in for a treat! Why would I want to come from Iraq on a “holiday” and the first thing I see are filafels! I would feel very “ripped off!!!”

-Melvin “Mel” Zdarsky

Chef Charlie is part of an online "COMMUNITY"

Anyone in the building knows my favourite time of day is mealtime (breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper). I've been able to "log on" to an internet "community" and share some of my experiences with food (72 years: I think you could say I've "acquired" a lot of taste over the decades!).
Here's some of the 'hot topics' we're discussing in my community:
(By the way, when you see Charlie1250840 it's me: seems there's a lot of other Charlies in my foodcommunity, that was what they said I should call myself!)


This year my husband and i decided that our family is going to eat more healthy. We really want to start eating fish something i have never made. My question is how long should i cook it for. A lot of recipe says to cook it for 7 minutes on each side. Is that enough???


Once the batter is golden brown, pull it out of the grease vat and it's ready to go!

I don't have much experience with fish. Can I use Crisco or lard in the grease vat?

Using a "grease vat" of any kind- totally destroys the health benefits of eating fish in the first place. Preferably fish should be baked, broiled or poached until easily flakes with a fork (generally about 10 minutes per inch). If you must fry it- pan fry it in a small amount of olive or canola oil over medium (to medium-high) heat, in a non-stick skillet. Please don't dip your poor little healthy fish into a "grease-vat"- unless you happen to work at Long John Silvers (in which case you have no choice)

NEW TOPIC: Quick Comfort Food

Hi, this is Sus from Kraft.

What is your favorite way to cook up comfort food quickly? Share your favorite tips here!


Cooking in the microwave is a great way to heat up food really fast, that's one of my favorite ways to do snacks and comfort food. Some have buttons that say "baked potato" and pop"corn" but these don't affect the flavour of your food.

NEW TOPIC: Mommy playdate

I am hosting my daughter's first playdate in our home and I am so confused as to what to serve for the mommies. Most are watching what they eat so any ideas or recipes are greatly appreciated!!


A quick and easy snack is Lunchables, just buy 1.5 per mommy

I especially like the hot dog Lunchable. Teeny tiny dogs with teeny tiny buns. And always a candy treat at the end!

NEW TOPIC: A Black Walnut Warning!
I have some black walnuts that were harvested in October, cracked open and picked out early January 08, then placed in my freezer for a couple of weeks. I made a "black walnut" pie today, using the walnuts instead of pecans. The recipe called for 1/3 cup of butter or margarine. I added the butter without thinking of what the walnuts would do. After a half hour of baking, I tested it and found it needing more time. After forty-five minutes, I took it out to have a look at it. Usually, these pies are done in 25-30 minutes so something had to be up. What I found was a puddle of oil sitting on top. I grabbed a turkey baster and drew off as much oil as I could, and then sopped up more oil with four or five paper towels. Then I stuck it in the oven for eight more minutes. It finished baking, I let it cool down for several hours. It was a mess because of my fooling around with it, but it was sooooo good! I tasted the oil; it was heavily walnut flavored. All I can guess is that the nuts were very oily to begin with and the baking let the oil out. I wrote a note above the pie recipe to NOT add butter if I am going to make a black walnut pie instead of pecan. I don't know if this is a typical thing with black walnuts or not, but I thought I should pass it along.


A good story! You really drew me in when the character decided to make a pecan pie out of walnuts. I wondered where it was going at first and then all this oil started to show up! It's good the leave with a cliffhanger ending but I hope you'll add more to the post, maybe with a bit of the science behind the oily pie.
The title "A Black Walnut Warning" is great and I think could even be expanded into a series

NEW TOPIC: Pakistani Recipes

I am a Girl Scout Leader and we are coming up on Thinking Day next weekend. We pick a country that has Girl Scouts/Guides and research that country. We need to cook a food fron that country that is very simple to make. We share this food with other G.S. Troops. I have printed out "Fruit Chat" from adnanbaig68. Any other ideas? It must be made 24hrs ahead of time and needs to be served cold (have no way to keep food hot). It needs to be simple that 9-11 yr olds can do. Thanks Rita


Rice (from China) is a simple food to cook, which I believe you boil or "steam' and can be eaten cold.
Another simple food from another country is nachos, from Mexico which should be easy to do, you can just have the troops dip the nachos in salsa for the "cooking" part.
Finally, my last suggestion is from England, a mashed potatoe. I'm not sure it would taste as good if cold, but the kids would sure have fun "mashing".

Charlie.... all good suggestions but I think this poster was looking for easy recipes that can be served cold from Pakistan... I got nothing, sorry to say. But you done good for the other countries they might pick next time around...

Okay, that's it for now, Melvin's been standing BEHIND ME for TOO long but I know he doesn't like to sit in a cold chair so up I get.

Friday, February 1, 2008


This is a letter that I sent to Walmart about thier senior greeters program:

Hello. As a senior citizen Id like to thank your company for provving to the world that SENIORS CAN STILL BE USEFUL! by employing seniors as greeters at your stores. It really does boost the morale of seniors everywhere, and it is the main reason i do all of my shopping (on Wednesay trips to the mall) at your store. Also I can have a senior coffee at the McDonalds inside the store.I think that a good next step would be to have a senior be the president or CEO of walmart, to show how usefull we can really be! Thank you, Carl Theodore Mannings.