Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Real Heroes

I don't know about you but all I hear lately is Guitar Hero this and Guitar Hero that.
Guitar Hero, Guitar Hero , Guitar Hero. My grandson and his friends won't shut their
traps about it. In my day there were real heroes like S.C Johnson or William Proctor.
Today all you have to do is pick up this damn toy and you're a hero. Well I think it's about
time we seniors have our own game. I am writing the Japanese companies Sony and
Nintendo and asking them to consider my new concept. PHONOGRAPH CHAMPION.

Thanks to Nurse Cindy for putting this mock up together.
If anyone can help translate my letter to Japanese let me know.

Friday, January 25, 2008

UNAPPRECIATED customer feedback!

A message to Kraft,
I've enjoyed stacking crackers with lean ham and swiss cheese for more than 2o years now, I'd say, and I thank you for that! Lunchables are terrific, but unfortunately only for lunch!

I've a unique concept to expand the customer base considerably and keep the regulars coming back for meal-after-meal. This can be done with little change to the original product as well (lunchables).
The idea is Dinnerables. What's new, and what makes it dinner is this, I will tell you. It would be another plastic compartment only this time with gravy (for dipping). This elevates the meal above a simple "lunch" and plops it into a whole new category: supper.
What do you think.

Charles Fergus
Toronto Ontario Canada

SO FAR NOTHING FROM KRAFT! Typical big company ignoring the customers who make their products worth producting!

RE: Product Idea
Firstly, I would like to thank you for making a
quality confectionary that I've been able to enjoy
sucking for many years. The only thing wrong with the
product is this: there's only one of them.

My question (proposal?) involves the same creamy
butter recipe found in original Werther's® but this
time kept in its liquid state and served as a
beverage. A dessert beverage, to have after or between
meals. Serving sizes could range from a 355ml can to a
2 litre bottle to bring to parties where laughs,
stories and sweet sweet drinks are enjoyed.
Please consider my idea and where possible,
compensating me for use of it, though the only true reward
will be a tall, luke-warm glass of Werther's® like I've
been thinking about. I am available for taste-tasting
if needed.
Thank you for your time and as you might say in
Australia, "top o' the morning, mate!"

Charles Fergus,
Toronto Ontario

SO FAR NOTHING FROM WERTHER! Typical big company ignoring the customers who make their products worth sucking!

One thing is for sure and that's people don't respect a chemical man.  If it wasn't for guys like me then people wouldn't have their damn swimming pools,  stained doors & decks,  clean ovens, or 
shaving creams.  People would be walking around saying " I don't know where to Swim,  I got a splinter on my cracked deck, the wife's legs are hairyer than ever, and her baking is starting to taste like 8 years of oven build up.  You know what I'm saying. I think Melvin has started something great here.  A place where seniors can connect without the far walk.   Just like when two or more elements are combined into one substance through a chemical reaction and form a compound we seniors can connect too and form I guess an ideas compound.  We are like Atoms bonded together here and if the right solvents are added then we will get great reaction!!! 
My son Atom and his son Billy have both got me into the internet recently and I am having fun. My wife was abducted from the underground garage at our home and I have had troubles since. 
Anyway this is Melvin's internet and I don't want to write too much today.   Here are some photographs to look at.  Me and Gary at the plant in 59,  Me up on the roof . Oh what a terriffic day that was.   One of the labs in the plant exploded and we took the week off.  Darling took this shot on our vacation.  I was always scaring her by climbing buildings.   The last pic is me and ma visiting my Dad at work who also was a chemical man.    I will try to check in here on computer night.  Melvin's page is on this computer and we don't always get the same computer so I will check when I get computer # 5.     ok bye for now. 

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Crossword Error

Dear The Toronto Star,
As an senior citizen and avid crossword enthusiast I feel it is my duty to alert you to some mistakes made in your national newspaper today. Rectifying them in tomorrow's edition will certainly increase my own future enjoyment, and hopefully save your paper unneeded embarrassment.

In today's crossword entitled Sudoku there were an unusually large amount of very perplexing printing errors. I'm sure once your staff has a look at the page they will immediately see these bizarre mistakes of which I speak. I'm not familiar with the computer, but I will venture a guess that it might be to blame.

I eagerly look forward to tomorrow's corrected puzzle. It will be my first in many years thanks to recent cataract surgery.

Thank you.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

New kid on the block

Melvin's blob has gotten a lot of attention around here mainly due to the spank pictures he found but I'm glad to see he's invited a few of us to share some of our ideas in his corner, so to balance out the ideas and even out some of the perspectives you see in this web corner. Because all of us here don't allways agree with Melvin but we can agree on one thing: our [seniors] 2 cents isn't heard (and it's worth more than 10).
About me:
My name is Charlie Fergus, and I'm 72 years of age. I've worked many jobs including firstly, clown, and later, stay-at-home telemarketer and mostley (34years) food court security in Southridge mall, Sudbury Ontario Canada. Plus many in between!
Well, that's it for now, stay tuned for more from me, and the rest as we try to make this a worthwhile blob for everyone not just senors.

Free Image Hosting at
Up to my tricks

Free Image Hosting at
around 1970

Free Image Hosting at
Call security! (not my desk)

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Thanks for the Spank!!! (Your own good)!

“Spanking” is a hot-button topic issue! A friend of mine e-mailed me a website address that I clicked on and went to, here:

Some of the type is pretty tiny and / or italiancized so I’ll “sum it up” for you here!: It’s a nice, well-thought out “website” that says God (AND Jesus) wants men to spank their wives if they’ve done things wrong, like burnt their pancakes because they were busy watching their “soap operas” or did something else that’s WRONG!!!

God gave women CABOOSES made for “ABOOSES” (abuses) as can be seen in women’s more ample behind (though I’m one to talk!!!). This extra cushioning does make it a pretty open-and-shut-case-for spanking women. It is often my experience too when watching TV that perhaps “women of colour” have larger bottoms which may mean that they’re god-willingly supposed to be spanked even more by their “men of colour partners!!!” I don’t know everything on such matters I just call them like I see them (big)!

Wendy and I were a pretty good Christian Couple and, as such, we believed that I was the “boss” and she was “underneath” me, but also, my PARTNER, and sometimes, my boss (I did work for her at Canada Post for several years before Wendell was born and then again several years later after Melanie was also born).
I can only recall “spanking” Wendy a few dozen times, but they were always for something that she did wrong that made me look bad at a party or in the stands at a baseball game. It was, I feel, to this very day, necessary.

Now, for “full disclosure,” I have to say that turnabout is fair play!!! There were times at work where I would “mess up” and do things wrong, like accidentally running water pipes where they shouldn’t go (into electrical boxes)!!! And Wendy would call me into her office as acting Manager of Custodial Services and force me to undo my coveralls and grab the far corners of her oak desk. She would “let me have it” for my entire lunch hour. I was so hungry and sore by the end of the day, but I NEVER laid a hand on her during work hours. I respected the Canada Post chain of command too much.

So, in closing, I enjoyed my time spanking Wendy and wished I could do it all over again, but she’s being spanked by another man (Italian) now and I’ve accepted that, for what it’s “worth.” Please don’t be afraid in these political-correct times to stand up to your special lady friend and pat her BOTTOM now and again!!!. It is a sign of love and respect from you that signifies she needs to love and respect you more and isn’t love and respect what marriage is all about? ANSWER: Yes!!!


Friday, January 4, 2008

(Unpublished letter t the TORONTO Star!) It's a DOG'S world if you're a SENIOR who CARES!


Hallelujah!!! I for one am VERY glad to see off-leash parks get a BITE taken out of them! I'm 78 years YOUNG and I really enjoy walks through parks and the squirrels that I feed, some pretty "cool dudes" that I see almost every week.

I don;t move too quickly and for some reason this AGITATES dogs!! They come yelping and yipping at me like NOBODY'S business and it always scares me half to death! Their owners insist that they're harmless, but if they're really HARMLESS then why did God give them such sharp teeth, wiselady? Anyway, I kicked a dog once, right in the belly and he died. I felt terrible for a SECOND, but he was barking so loudly at me I was sure he was going to attack me and my friend Jacqueline can back me up on that!!

Dog owners need to drop their big sense of "entitlement" and hear what the PEOPLE have to say on this subject! People, in case they didn't notice, are more IMPORTANT than dogs who simply put cannot vote.

Thank you,
Melvin Zdarsky

(NOTE: Above CARTOON was by "Google!")