Monday, March 3, 2008

CLOSE CALL: Gravy dangers

Well folks, you haven't heard from us in a few days, but there's a reason. We had a close clal here at "the rez". It involved Melvin's health.
I was planning a hippy-themed party for the residents here and was going through all kinds of bull trying to make it happen. But the staff here said they didn't know about the party and it wasn't okay for me to throw it even after all the work I had started. In protest I decided to see if blogmaster Mel wanted to try some of my velveeta and chex like in the 60s. What I found was a suprise.
Melvin was un-conscious in "his" chair. "Nurse!" I yelled, pressing the nurse button while saying "Nurse!". I knew I had to act fast. I'm no pansy-boy but I knew mouth-to-mouth was what could save Melvin right then and there and that's what I did. But something was. wrong His mouth was caked close with a pasty substance, like so many poly-filled holes in walls of places I once lived.
What had happened was this. Melvin had been eating gravy out of his secret quart, and fell asleep. His room is kept chilly because he likes to snuggle up with a good flannel blanket and snack. But this temperature (I'm not sure of the science here) caused the gravy, still in his mouth and esophagas, to harden up and "congeal"!
Fast Fowrad.
I scooped out the lardy topping with two fingers as fast as I could. I had to go deep because it seemed that he kept eating for a while even after falling asleep. The nurse was able to wake him up and I'll have you all know that he's fine today, if a little shaken up and ashamed. But seniors look out for their neighbours, and you can count on them! I'm sure he would do mouth-to-mouth to me if I asked him and I'm damn happy here's here if I need it!