LETTER TO THE TORONTO SUN, RE: IT SHOULD BE SHAME ON VANITY FAIR AND ANNIE LEIBOVITZ FOR MILEY CYRUS' EXPLOITIVE SEMI-NUDE PHOTO SPREAD, JOE WARMINGTO

(This link is for the "Story")
I don't know much about "Miley Cyrus," because I'm a little outside of her age "demographic!!!!! (LOL!!! I am 78 years old)" BUT, as I opened my copy of the best newspaper in town (yours (Toronto Sun)) today and saw this Vanity Fair "photo" of her I was IMMEDIATELY attracted and felt a very deep stirring for her!! Imagine my surprise when I found out she was only 15 YEARS OLD!!!! The exact same age plus two years of my grandson, Barry!! I was TRICKED by Vanity "Fair" into being attracted to a CHILD which is the "worst" thing I could ever imagine!!

I felt very nauseous but was reassured by Joe Warmington's measured response. As he stated, he is a CLOSE, PERSONAL friend of Miley's father, Bill Ray, and I can only assume that he will send him a TERSE, but FAIR "e-mail" telling him that he is a poor father. It is a shame that legally you can't take kids away from "celebrities," as that is how Drew Barrymore became what she is today (I think you know what I'm "talking" about).

Anyways, I appreciate that you suggested I go to your website, http://www.torontosun.com/miley for seventeen CLEANER photos of this cutey girl star!!! Those photos leave something to the imagination and made me realize a little something about the sexualizingation of our "children." By leaving something to my "imagination" you make me have to decide whether or not to do any "imagining," i.e: being a PERVERT. But when you show me pictures where my imagination doesn't need to do ANYTHING and I am ATTRACTED, then it is YOUR fault because you have done the "dirty work" and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Case over.

-Melvin "Mel" Zdarsky

CLOSE CALL: Gravy dangers

Well folks, you haven't heard from us in a few days, but there's a reason. We had a close clal here at "the rez". It involved Melvin's health.
I was planning a hippy-themed party for the residents here and was going through all kinds of bull trying to make it happen. But the staff here said they didn't know about the party and it wasn't okay for me to throw it even after all the work I had started. In protest I decided to see if blogmaster Mel wanted to try some of my velveeta and chex like in the 60s. What I found was a suprise.
Melvin was un-conscious in "his" chair. "Nurse!" I yelled, pressing the nurse button while saying "Nurse!". I knew I had to act fast. I'm no pansy-boy but I knew mouth-to-mouth was what could save Melvin right then and there and that's what I did. But something was. wrong His mouth was caked close with a pasty substance, like so many poly-filled holes in walls of places I once lived.
Rewind.
What had happened was this. Melvin had been eating gravy out of his secret quart, and fell asleep. His room is kept chilly because he likes to snuggle up with a good flannel blanket and snack. But this temperature (I'm not sure of the science here) caused the gravy, still in his mouth and esophagas, to harden up and "congeal"!
Fast Fowrad.
I scooped out the lardy topping with two fingers as fast as I could. I had to go deep because it seemed that he kept eating for a while even after falling asleep. The nurse was able to wake him up and I'll have you all know that he's fine today, if a little shaken up and ashamed. But seniors look out for their neighbours, and you can count on them! I'm sure he would do mouth-to-mouth to me if I asked him and I'm damn happy here's here if I need it!

Charlie

Thanks for the Spank!!! (Your own good)!

“Spanking” is a hot-button topic issue! A friend of mine e-mailed me a website address that I clicked on and went to, here:
christiandomesticdiscipline.com/

Some of the type is pretty tiny and / or italiancized so I’ll “sum it up” for you here!: It’s a nice, well-thought out “website” that says God (AND Jesus) wants men to spank their wives if they’ve done things wrong, like burnt their pancakes because they were busy watching their “soap operas” or did something else that’s WRONG!!!

God gave women CABOOSES made for “ABOOSES” (abuses) as can be seen in women’s more ample behind (though I’m one to talk!!!). This extra cushioning does make it a pretty open-and-shut-case-for spanking women. It is often my experience too when watching TV that perhaps “women of colour” have larger bottoms which may mean that they’re god-willingly supposed to be spanked even more by their “men of colour partners!!!” I don’t know everything on such matters I just call them like I see them (big)!


Wendy and I were a pretty good Christian Couple and, as such, we believed that I was the “boss” and she was “underneath” me, but also, my PARTNER, and sometimes, my boss (I did work for her at Canada Post for several years before Wendell was born and then again several years later after Melanie was also born).
I can only recall “spanking” Wendy a few dozen times, but they were always for something that she did wrong that made me look bad at a party or in the stands at a baseball game. It was, I feel, to this very day, necessary.

Now, for “full disclosure,” I have to say that turnabout is fair play!!! There were times at work where I would “mess up” and do things wrong, like accidentally running water pipes where they shouldn’t go (into electrical boxes)!!! And Wendy would call me into her office as acting Manager of Custodial Services and force me to undo my coveralls and grab the far corners of her oak desk. She would “let me have it” for my entire lunch hour. I was so hungry and sore by the end of the day, but I NEVER laid a hand on her during work hours. I respected the Canada Post chain of command too much.



So, in closing, I enjoyed my time spanking Wendy and wished I could do it all over again, but she’s being spanked by another man (Italian) now and I’ve accepted that, for what it’s “worth.” Please don’t be afraid in these political-correct times to stand up to your special lady friend and pat her BOTTOM now and again!!!. It is a sign of love and respect from you that signifies she needs to love and respect you more and isn’t love and respect what marriage is all about? ANSWER: Yes!!!

-“Mel!”

(Unpublished letter t the TORONTO Star!) It's a DOG'S world if you're a SENIOR who CARES!

RE: LOSING OFF-LEASH SITE 'A HUGE BLOW'
TORONTO STAR, JANUARY 3, 2008

Hallelujah!!! I for one am VERY glad to see off-leash parks get a BITE taken out of them! I'm 78 years YOUNG and I really enjoy walks through parks and the squirrels that I feed, some pretty "cool dudes" that I see almost every week.

I don;t move too quickly and for some reason this AGITATES dogs!! They come yelping and yipping at me like NOBODY'S business and it always scares me half to death! Their owners insist that they're harmless, but if they're really HARMLESS then why did God give them such sharp teeth, wiselady? Anyway, I kicked a dog once, right in the belly and he died. I felt terrible for a SECOND, but he was barking so loudly at me I was sure he was going to attack me and my friend Jacqueline can back me up on that!!

Dog owners need to drop their big sense of "entitlement" and hear what the PEOPLE have to say on this subject! People, in case they didn't notice, are more IMPORTANT than dogs who simply put cannot vote.

Thank you,
Melvin Zdarsky

(NOTE: Above CARTOON was by "Google!")

(UNpublished letter to Toronto Sun) Drinking & Driving THESE Days!! (Wrong!!)

RE: RAISE A GLASS TO SOBRIETY
TORONTO SUN, DECEMBER 26, 2007

As a senior, your article about drinking and driving brought back a lot of memories. When I was young (I'm still young AT HEART!!) I, along with my "friends," would routinely drive drunk and had several accidents to prove it!! Almost no one was hurt but the fact remained that what I did was wrong. Those were "different" times.

My earliest memories of my mother were of her learning how to drive and how she fought her "driving nerves" with my father's homemade whiskey. But these are "different times" and my mother would probably be in jail if she hadn't been dead these last fifty years.

Putting my nice memories aside for a second, I have to agree wholeheartedly with Paul Berton's article on booze and the New Year. While drinking during New Year's Eve warms the body, the blood spilt is also warm but is no longer in the body. We should all think about that this upcoming "eve" and put a cork in it!!!

-Melvin Zdarsky

Unpublished Letter on Food Banks

RE: ARE FOOD BANKS THE BEST WE CAN DO?

DECEMBER 20, 2007, EYE MAGAZINE

"Food banks" are inefficient and need to be stream-lined to stop handing out rotting gourmet pizzas to "homeless" teenagers!! The answer is clear and easy: S.O.U.P. I'm 78 years young and my entire diet is soup!! Cans of soup will NOT go bad and they have all of the essential potatoes, carrots and chicken that you need to SURVIVE and THRIVE. Giving needy people "gift cards" will not solve anything as they will probably just buy delicious pies and cakes with them or trade them for "pot".

In closing, Food Banks need to stop accepting perishing food and START handing out only soup!! In cans!! Not the packs where you add water because those have no nutritional value!!

Thank you for considering me,
Melvin Zdarsky